Mommyhood is crazy hard. There is no sleep, no time, and no sanity more often than not.
This past week has been a tough one for me, and asking for help is NOT my forte. And isn’t that the same for EVERY mom? We never want to admit that we aren’t strong enough. But guess what?
It takes a village to raise a child.
And more importantly,
It takes a village to raise a mom.
I like to think back to hundreds of years ago, or even thousands of years ago, about what life must have been like.
People probably were born, and then died, in the same place. Surrounded constantly by work, but also surrounded constantly with friends and family. There most likely wasn’t just one mom to however many children. It was probably 12 grandmas, 20 aunts, 10 moms, and 30 friends, to a whole lot of kids.
But those parents and mothers had each other.
I have NO DOUBT that life was hard. Um, no indoor plumbing? No thank you.
But I also believe it was probably a little more simple.
No social media to compare ourselves too, no magazines, no movies, no soccer practices to get to…
Just moms being moms.
Now, I’m not so ignorant of the blessings we experience now, but I am aware of some big differences.
We don’t often have family right there. I’ll admit, my own mom is seriously 3 minutes away, but that’s not the case for everyone. And she has her own life and her other kids at home too, so she can’t always be helping me with mine!
But this is what a mom needs. A support system! People to turn to, that love her regardless of how her house looks or whether or not she had time to put makeup on that day.
So I have made a list of the things that we can all do to best help other moms.
1. Take her kids
Guys, I’m only able to write this post right now because another mom has my kids. I have been seriously struggling with my husband out of town, so my glorious hubby called someone up to help me out. I would have NEVER asked. I was ready to just cry in my exhausted state until he came home on Saturday, but he is the problem solver in the relationship.
And you know what this experience has taught me? And no, it’s not to ask for help since I’m not quite at that point yet 😉
No, it is to be that mom. That mom who offers to take someone else’s children! I have got to pay it forward now, and find a way to look outside of myself and help someone else.
How easy is it to put on our blinders and only see our own problems? Moms are busy! And oftentimes, we are busy doing GOOD things. But helping someone else inevitably helps ourselves just by that wonderful feeling we get when we serve someone else.
2. Call her
Now, I suck at this. I suck at calling people, and I suck at answering the phone. I’m even “too busy” to answer a text. But when my best friend calls me (and she lives across the freaking country, which so isn’t cool) and just leaves me a voicemail, it makes my day! It lets me know that she thought of me and wanted to check in.
That means even more than a text, seriously.
And if I actually do answer? Then we BOTH get to enjoy a wonderful conversation of catching up. It is really a win/win!
3. Just show up
Now, I may have some people argue with me on this, and I even argue with myself a bit. I’m not saying here, just show up with all of your kids to hang out. No, that would cause even the most laid back mom some stress.
But if you are out shopping solo, make a stop if you have the time to check in! It doesn’t have to be an hour long visit, but who knows? You could be answering that mom’s prayers by giving her an adult to talk to for the first time all day. We ALL know how amazing those conversations are after arguing with a three year old for majority of the day.
4. Invite her over
If taking another mom’s kids is too challenging (which in my circumstances, it often is) then invite her over for a play date! It is a great way to entertain your kids and help you to socialize and create those important connections.
And it doesn’t have to be to your house. Meet up at the park or the library. Just getting your kids around other children often makes them SO much happier, and it makes you happy too! So do it!
5. Pray for her
I am a very devout Christian, so I believe in the miracles of prayer. Prayer has saved me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even physically, more times than I can count. If you literally have no time for anything else, say a prayer for her. It will make a difference, I promise.
Now, I have tried to offer some really simple solutions to help another mom out. Obviously meals, cookies, and things like that are great and are SUPER helpful, especially in the cases of sickness or accidents. But what a mom really needs is a connection.
She needs people around her that remind her that even though life feels unbearable sometimes, she has friends who love her. It’s what we all need.
Be sure to check out my post on Tips from Experienced Moms to New Moms, since it is full of gems from moms who have been there.
And if you are looking for sleep (and who isn’t?), be sure to enroll in my FREE 5 Day Baby Sleep Course!
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